Seeking Growth

Midlife

2009-11-11T12:02:00.004-06:00

Most women don't know a whole lot about menopause. The focus on women's health during adolescence is how to avoid pregnancy and during adulthood it's how to achieve pregnancy. When midlife rolls in, I'm finding that so many physicians don't have a lot of offer women regarding support for the midlife, or perimenopausal transition. According to my favorite women's health authority, Dr. Christine Northrup, menopause typically occurs between the ages of 45-55. I think most women have a sense of this. What I feel most women and many of their physicians don't realize is that perimenopausal symptoms can occur for a full five to ten years BEFORE that. So, when I see a women in her mid-to late-thirties who is having perimenopausal symptoms and I discuss this with her, the response is usually one of shock and disbelief. She usually has no idea that things such as mood swings, irritability, difficulty sleeping, and "fuzzy thinking" can all be early menopausal, or perimenopausal, symptoms. Often at this age, these women are in the midst of parenting one or more young children and can easily write off their symptoms to the intensity of parenting young children. Don't get me wrong, young children can be exhausting, but I also believe that if these symptoms are occurring and you are in your mid to late thirties, the hormonal changes of perimenopause should also be considered as a possible factor. I had a situation once, where a former colleague was experiencing almost all of the identified perimenopausal symptoms. She was in her early 40's so I suggested that she talk to her doctor about treatment for these hormonal symptoms. She came back from her appointment and told me, through tears of frustration, that her doctor told her there was no way that this was perimenopausally related, so he prescribed birth control bills and an anti-depressant. I was shocked! So much has been learned about self-care, diet and bio-identical (natural not synthetic) hormones which can help alleviate most perimenopausal symptoms for women, that I was disappointed that this was the best the doctor could do for my friend. If your doctor is unfamiliar with these alternatives, direct him or her to the work of Dr. Northrup and perhaps there are other options available for you as well.

Daylight Fading

2009-11-04T08:42:00.007-06:00

The days are getting shorter and the sky is darker during the day. I've been noticing it myself, but in the past few weeks so many of my clients have too. I've had many people sigh and say, "Winter is coming and it's SO long!". Last night at 5:00 it was dark, thanks in part to going off Daylight Savings time. The number of people that have commented to me recently about the winter, the cold and the lack of sunlight coming, make me more acutely aware of the anxiety some people experience related to the beginning of our "dark season". Thinking about this, I did some research recently. I wanted to present lots of helpful information for ways to combat the "winter blues". There are many treatments that have been tried and found to be effective for treating Seasonal Affective Disorder, but unfortunately, there have been some recent studies which have questioned the efficacy of them. What I'm referring to are: full-spectrum lamps and Vitamin D. Perhaps the fact that some studies find positive effects and others not, makes me wonder if there aren't more variables at play than the researchers have yet to isolate. Three of our major American holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's also fall during this period. The stress, both positive and negative of these may have a contributing effect. If you tend to experience what I call a "Seasonal Slowdown", ie: low energy, fatigue, weight gain and/or depression, these are some things which may be helpful for you:
1) Light Therapy. For this you need a special full-spectrum lamp, of at least 10,000 lux. You sit approximately one foot away from it for 20-30 minutes a day, typically in the morning.
2) Vitamin D. There has been lots of research lately to the role that Vitamin D plays in maintaining our health. We know that our bodies manufacture Vitamin D from the sun. The lack of exposure to sunlight and the wide use of sunscreen has contributed to many peoples' levels being too low. Research I've done shows that adding a supplement of 1,000-4,000 IU a day may be helpful.
3) Good Nutrition. Fast food, sugar, caffeine and alcohol are all stressors to the adrenal system. When our adrenal system is weakened, it's harder to tolerate physical and emotional stress.
4) Exercise. Exercise has been proven to boost brain chemistry and energy levels and promote better sleep.
5) Sleep. Maintain good "sleep hygiene": consistent sleep/wake cycles, moderate caffeine and alcohol consumption and limit the stimulation of TV & computer screens before bedtime.
Be sure to consult with your primary physician to address your specific concerns and what treatment method may be best for you. My hope is that this year, wintertime will be a new experience in wellness for you!

Lunch Alone

2009-09-30T06:42:00.003-05:00

My youngest child is off to Kindergarten this fall. It's a full day program in our district, so it's been an adjustment for both of us. I know he was ready to go--his little brain was on overdrive, hungry for the stimulation of school. I too, was ready, with a list a mile-long of projects that had gone unfinished for years while chasing little kids around the house. The first week of school felt very surreal. I had the sensation that I had to keep looking over my shoulder. The house was too quiet which meant he must be into no good, then only to realize that he wasn't here but at school! It's taken me a few weeks to lose the hypervigilance that one assumes with an active child in the house. Now it feels that the one remnant of this change which still feels odd, of all things, is eating lunch alone. The mornings, afternoons and evenings are filled with work at home or the office, and shuttling kids to and fro. It's lunch time which has a melancholy feel. I sometimes catch myself feeling moments of ambivalence about this growth that my family is going through this year. Then I go volunteer in his classroom and know that this is the place where he needs to be now. He's with amazing teachers in an environment of exploration, wonderment and nurturing. I see that I also have opportunities to grow in new ways as well, in this new space which has been opened.

The End of Summer

2009-08-11T13:38:00.002-05:00

Summer is winding down. For many kids in my area, school begins this year on September 1. That gives us three weeks left of our looser structured days. I've learned over the years that summer works better for my family if we maintain some sort of structure. My daughter especially, gets a little too cranky when things are too loose. So again, it's the art of balance. How to provide enough structure to keep everyone balanced but loose enough that we can be spontaneous some days to take off and do whatever moves us. I'm a work in progress in the area of spontaneity. I tend to get focused on what "needs to be done" and think less about just taking off or flaking out for the day. I had a wonderful experience of this a few weeks ago. There's been a lack of posts in the last month due to the craziness of the remodeling going on at home. Every spare moment I've been running to various home centers to pick up needed supplies, or hurriedly getting my part of the project completed so as to keep the carpenters on schedule. So, one beautiful Sunday a few weeks ago I was just about to get started on some painting that needed to be done when the phone rang. It was some friends inviting us to spend the afternoon on their boat, swimming, tubing and hanging out on Pewaukee Lake. I looked outside at the amazing sunshine and immediately accepted their offer! The weather was perfect. We ended up joining some other families we know and had an afternoon of fun which ended with the whole group going out to dinner together. The kids were still tubing at 8:00 pm that evening! The painting was still there for me to complete the next day, but it was a lot easier to do when I'd had a day of sunshine, friends and relaxation in between.

The Love Dare

2009-06-30T17:01:00.002-05:00

I saw the movie Fireproof last night. Some friends had talked about the movie a few months ago, and suggested that it I'd like it. It must be fairly popular, because it lasted weeks on my Netflix queue before it became available. The story is about a young couple on the brink of divorce. They've fallen into a pattern of arguing, bitterness and resentment. They're talking, rather yelling, that it's time to divorce. The man's father asks him to wait 40 days before signing the papers. He sends the man a book called The Love Dare. In short, it's 40 days of dares for you to complete. Dares to look at and treat your spouse differently. It's about stepping back and changing yourself, not focusing on changing your partner. The author's position is that "love is a decision, not a feeling. As often is the case, after years in a relationship, couples complain about losing the "spark". The Love Dare challenges you to think differently about love. Although it's Bible based, I think the message transcends those who identify themselves as Christians. If you're looking for a way to reconnect with your partner, I'd give it a try.

Chaos

2009-06-16T15:03:00.002-05:00

My sofa's in the kitchen today. I have boxes everywhere and a fine veil of drywall dust is beginning to settle on top of everything. My kitchen remodel has begun! The sofa moved into the kitchen two days ago to allow for the floor in the adjacent family room to be redone. The major chaos will begin this weekend, when we rip out all of the old cabinets. As I was stumbling around this morning looking for something but unsure of where it's currently located, it occurred to me how amazing it is that this household in chaos does not feel crazy to me. Typically, I'm annoyed with just a few piles of toys or desk papers lying around. Why then, does this situation, with the entire first floor of my home being boxed up and temporarily moved out feel OK? I realize why; it's because I'm focusing on the end result. I've been dreaming about this remodel from the day we moved in six years ago. I know that enduring the next six weeks will result in an amazing transformation that I've been hoping for for so long. I also think, that why I normally feel so frustrated with the endless task of cleaning up piles of stuff around my house is that it is just that--endless. The monotony of daily household tasks isn't really fun or motivating for me, as I'm sure many people would agree. Try as I might, I'm unable to have a "Zen" moment while doing the dishes. It's so curious to me that this is another example of a situation where I feel totally differently about the situation "house in chaos" because I know where it's going--to something better, something finite, instead of nowhere and endless. I think this is somewhat like what can happen in therapy: you feel that your problem has gone on and on with no hope for change or an end in sight. The therapist, who has an outside perspective on the situation can provide helpful insight into what you CAN do to solve the problem, or cope with it in a new or different way. Not that therapy can get everyone to the "Zen" place while scrubbing the kitchen sink, but it will help you identify and change what you can.

Traditions

2009-05-25T21:24:00.005-05:00

I was reading a book this weekend about recent parenting theory and research and one of the points the author was making was about the importance of rituals and traditions for childrens' development. I often feel guilty that I don't have many amazing traditions to hand down to my children. I come from a family that can be traced back to the original 13 colonies, so our family tradition is so diluted by this generation, that it feels no more unique than any other American family. In addition, I have friends who are energetic and creative and create fun, wonderful new traditions for their kids. I don't have this going for me either! So what are my traditions, then, I gasped!

One of my most cherished memories from childhood is the time that I spent over the years at my family's cottage "up north". Growing up, the expression "Up North" was a phrase that my friends and I used and all knew what it meant---it was the house, cabin, camper, etc. in the Northern woods of Wisconsin that so many of us growing up in the Midwest frequented for family vacations. My "Up North" is a cottage on the shore in Door County, Wisconsin. (I've also always said "on the shore", meaning on Green Bay, but one of my brothers-in-law who grew up on Long Island, NY, claims I'm not allowed to say on the "shore" unless the body of water is an ocean. I'll have to research the exact definition of that some day, but until then I'll keep saying it the way I do!)

As we were riding around in the boat this weekend, my Dad was remarking about all the things my siblings and I had had fun doing while growing up that now our kids are experiencing, and enjoying in much the same way. At that particular moment, the grand kids were all in the bow of the boat screaming to Grandpa to drive faster so that they'd be bounced harder on the choppy water. Mile after mile the boat bounced and the kids squealed with delight. (One adult claimed he was motion sick by the end of this outing!) Watching the kids, I began to think about this wonderful place as being something I could claim as a family tradition. I seem to recall seeing a little hand-painted plaque at a gift store once which read "Up North is a frame of mind". It's a time to unplug. No computers or video games. It was a weekend of baseball, fishing, boat rides and lounging around--wonderful activities for both kids and adults. I sat in the sunshine and read magazines for hours on Saturday. I'd never do that at home, since there's always so much "to do". We laugh that most of the adults eat and sleep way more than normal while there, but I'm sure that's part of the restoration that needs to happen as well. So, maybe I need to give myself a break and realize that I maybe have more traditions to pass down to my children than I'd once realized.

Adolescents

2009-05-16T06:45:00.003-05:00

I was in the car this week listening to public radio, and heard the second half of an interview with Malina Saval, author of THE SECRET LIVES OF BOYS: Inside the Raw Emotional World of Male Teens. While the author, herself, was not too impressive, and the research a little flimsy, I was intrigued with the subject matter. Granted, most people come to therapy to alleviate some kind of pain. So obviously, the bulk of my interactions with teens come from those who are in some kind of pain. The developmental tasks of adolescence are significant, and the hormonal changes that teens go through make it that much more challenging. Add to that the middle-age transition issues that most teens' parents are attempting to make sense of just as they are working on their own. It's no wonder then, that these years can feel like "stormy seas" for many families.

Since hearing this interview I've been thinking about all the current social and cultural issues which have been added on top of teens' normal developmental "stuff". First, there's the family concerns. Many families I work with describe feeling lack of support in so many areas: being single parents, parents who work more and often bring home less disposable income and extended families are spread around the country. Add to this the threat many households are currently facing related to job cuts and layoffs. Second, are the social concerns. More and more it seems to me that the increasing pressure to excel academically and/or athletically adds to many families' feelings of chaos. Running here and there for select sports teams and other extra-curricular activities for multiple children can leave any family feeling "out of gas". In addition, I am curious about the impact of electronic communication on this and future generations. Teens are now able to say, electronically, things so harsh and cruel that most would not have had the courage to say them to another in person. While many teens struggle with feelings of isolation, resorting to fully electronic communication with peers increases loneliness as they lose the entire element of non-verbal communication that happens when you are face to face. The loss of non-verbal cues increases misinterpretation and misunderstanding of the true intent of the writer when communication happens electronically. All in all, it feels that for as much as we evolve as a society and become psychologically open and aware, we are increasingly challenged with new social and cultural issues which leads me feeling that the challenges we face developmentally don't so much improve but change.

Reframe

2009-05-06T21:15:00.002-05:00

As a grand finale to my spring cleaning and purge, I participated in a neighborhood garage sale last weekend. We had a street full of families who participated, so in addition to the lovely weather, it turned out to be quite fun. There was a mother and young son, 4 years old, who came to my garage looking for children's toys. The boy was thrilled to find some toys which my children had outgrown but were new treasures for him which he could take home. As he and his mother were wandering around the garage they were talking. The mother then approached me and said, my son just said to me, " So a Garage Sale is when someone sells stuff they don't want so I can buy it and it's new to me?". She chuckled and said to both me and her son, "Yes, that's it exactly!". The son looked as if he'd just solved one of the mysteries of the universe. This interaction stuck in my mind for the next few days. It made me think of the power of "reframing" in psychotherapy. Reframing is a technique where the therapist presents to the client an alternate way to view or think about a situation. It's like looking at a situation from the opposite perspective. I think it can be very powerful. Often we get stuck in a particular way of viewing a situation and for someone to say, "Actually, maybe it's really like this----" can be very insightful. Sometimes it's about seeing the positives in an otherwise negative situation, sometimes it's understanding a possible motivation or cause for a behavior, or sometimes it's the ability to understand something from another person's point of view. This little boy had an excellent reframe for my discarded stuff--new treasures for him to take home.

Good-Bye Clutter!

2009-04-27T21:19:00.004-05:00

Today was a very productive day. Today was one of those days where I can see concrete change in front of me. It may not be world-changing, but it felt good---I cleaned the garage. We're getting ready to do some remodeling, so I knew that I needed to purge some stuff. In addition, we've lived in our house long enough now to have accumulated a basement storage room full of a random assortment of things we do not use. I rallied a bunch of my neighbors about a month ago and suggested this weekend for a neighborhood garage sale. I knew that if I had other people committed to this plan, I would be more motivated to do all the work. They were all thrilled that someone else had planned it, so they signed right up!
The process of sorting through one's belongings can be tough. The kids suddenly HAVE to keep the toys that haven't been played with in years. I still hold on to the odd clothes that I may have the "perfect occasion" for, when in truth the haven't left the basement since we moved in. Then, there's the sentimental stuff: the little baby outfits, the high school year books, Grandma's hand-me-downs......I have such an internal struggle with how much of that stuff to hold on to. Part of me wants to purge it all, but then I fear that I'll regret that someday.
I'm one of these people who's very affected by a messy environment. Granted, there's a level on ongoing clutter on my desk and a never-ending stack of kid-related papers on the kitchen counter. But, overall, I need my environment to be somewhat clean and organized. My mother-in-law has a sign in her kitchen which reads "Dull women have immaculate homes". I always chuckle when I see that. I understand the sentiment in it, but always feel just a touch defensive when I read it.
I was reading a magazine recently that talked about a program called Clutter Diet. It's an online support program to help people learn skills for organizing. It's sounds pretty cool. You have a coach and a prescribed plan of action. You check in with your coach and get feedback and encouragement. It sounds like a Weight Watchers model for home and life organization. Very interesting!
So now, I'll sleep well with a clean garage, and the knowledge that I'm about halfway done with the work for the sale. It starts on Friday, so I better rest up!

Spring Cleaning

2009-04-14T19:00:00.004-05:00

It's that time again...........spring cleaning time! I've rallied my neighbors and we're having a neighborhood garage sale in two weeks. Now, I need to do the work to prepare. I've been feeling for months that I needed to do this. We've lived in our current home for 6 years, just long enough to have really accumulated too much stuff. I began this process back in January. I purged years of files in my desk, filing cabinet, and boxes in the basement. Then, I wanted to move on to closets, storage areas, etc., but dared not begin. At time time, I had nowhere to go with the mounds of "stuff". The weather has finally warmed up, somewhat, so I'm kicking my husband's car out of the garage and I'm going to begin the big sort this week. One of the most difficult aspects of this is the children. Just as I'm pulling out toys that have been under the bed or buried in the closet for eons, they decide that it is most valued and could not possibly be donated or sold. Maybe if I strike a deal for a cut of the profits they'll reconsider?

It's interesting that so many people I know have been talking about spring cleaning lately. Everyone is ready to purge their "stuff". I'm one of these people who is sensitive to the cleanliness of my environment. If the house is chaotic, I feel the same way. Mind you, I'm by no means a "neat-freak". It's the clutter that makes crazy. My hope is that this big clean-out will create enough space that the clutter will not so readily occur. I'm not so naive to believe that this is the magic solution, but it's on the path.

In the Middle

2009-04-06T21:47:00.006-05:00

I'm sometimes amazed at the diversity of my interests and experience. Sometimes it leaves me feeling very "in the middle". Spirituality and Religion are very interesting areas of study for me. I identify myself not only as a "Liberal Christian", but also as someone who believes in the metaphysical world and energy healing. So 2 weeks ago, within the space of 6 days, I attended study groups at my church (Sunday), another at a more conservative christian church that some friends attend (Wednesday) and finally another at a New Age group--the Association for Research and Enlightenment (Saturday). The Wednesday group is a Women's Bible Study. I don't attend the weekly meetings, but once a month they have outside speakers on various topics. The topic this month was "Mom Guilt"--the feeling that you're never doing enough. The speaker was very entertaining and had a good sense of humor. I attended this group as much for the socializing with women I enjoy as the speaker. The Saturday workshop had a serendipitous beginning. I have some friends who've read Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" and loved it. I've tried to read it, and just could not get into it. I was at my local health food store, a few weeks ago and as I was leaving the store, I stopped to check out all the flyers and workshops which were posted. I saw that the A.R.E. group was hosting a workshop on A New Earth presented by Ron Miller, a professor of religion at Lake Forest College. I'm a LFC alum, so I was familiar with Ron and his engaging, dynamic lectures. I thought that perhaps hearing Ron talk about A New Earth, I could connect with it in a different way, and actually be motivated to read the book. I was also secretly hoping that one of my girlfriends would want to come along with me for the day. As luck would have it one of my buddies DID want to go, so we headed out to a Knights of Columbus Hall for the day to participate in the workshop. The day was not exactly what I had imagined. Ron did talk about Tolle's work, but talked about it in generalizations, in the greater context of where Tolle's work fits among world religions and spirituality. This was most intriguing. One of the most powerful points which I drew from the day is that the purpose of religion is to push us to grow in three ways: conscious, consciousness and community. Of course, this made me think about where I am at in these three areas of growth. All good food for though. The book is still on my nightstand waiting to be read.

Back to Reality

2009-04-02T20:40:00.006-05:00

Wow, was the last post really March 12th?! It's hard to get back to reality after vacation. I think my whole body slows down and I relax and then it's hard to get the engines back to full throttle when I return. My suitcase typically sits, unemptied, on the bedroom floor for a week or so before I get motivated to fully empty it. Before I left for vacation, I'd decided that when I return, I was going to try the Fat Flush Plan. I'd seen the book at a friend's home about a month ago and she said the doctor whom we both see had recommended it to her. In essence, it's like the Atkins diet with a liver detox program added. This means no alcohol, caffeine, sugar, artificial sweeteners, grain or dairy and only low-carb fruits and vegetables. So, I rallied the necessary vitamins and supplements and lots of meat and vegetables and began. Day one: I felt fine. I thought, "this is no big deal, I can do this". Day two and three: hit by the caffeine truck. I would typically have 2-3 servings of caffeine a day, and fooled myself that this was "no big deal". But, let me tell you, to come off of that, was powerful. I also felt very irritable. Days four to six: mood improved but I was still tired and very hungry. Then, day seven, like magic, the fog lifted. I feel better, although I'm not experiencing the burst of energy I hear about. I'm now cruising through week two. My hunger is under control and I feel stable. The book has lots of great information and what to eat so as not to over burden your body's ability to detoxify. I think a lot of what I'm learning will be a new lifestyle for me. It's raised my awareness about the sinister roles of caffeine, sugar, and wheat in my life! I feel like I do eat fairly healthy, but there is always room for improvement. A cup of coffee and a cookie is such a comfort that it's hard to give that up. A handful of almonds and a glass of water isn't quite the same. I'm a big believer in finding balance and moderation in life, so I know that if I continue to follow the maintenance plan, there can still be the place for an occasional glass of Merlot or piece of birthday cake from Shaker Baker.

Anticipation

2009-03-12T15:28:00.006-05:00

It will soon be Spring, so there will be new opportunities for growth and change. At the moment, I can't help thinking about 48 hours from now when I'll be landing in Florida! It's this point in the winter where most people I know here are DONE with the cold weather. There hasn't been too much snow in the last weeks, but it's been cold and windy, especially the last 2 days. Anticipation is interesting in that there can be both positive and negative emotions associated with it. I'm looking forward to vacation, but there's the effort of getting everything prepared that's extra work and stress right now. I know many people who get so stressed out about the preparations for time off and the increased workload when you return, that they don't do it. Even though it's work, the restorative benefits of the time off or vacation are definitely worth it! I had a client tell me recently that she was surprised when she went on vacation how hard it was to go back to work; it was hard to get back to "real life". I can relate to that. Who wouldn't rather lay on a beach or sight-see or shop for cool stuff rather than grocery shop or fold laundry! I know that for myself, I'm often able to gain perspective on my life and what's happening in it when I'm away. My mind slows down and I'm not distracted by all that "has" to get done. Not everything that comes up is always perfect, mind you. Sometimes there's a realization about something that's difficult to accept. Then, I return from vacation. Sometimes change happens, and other times, I am swept back into distraction and never make that change that felt so important when away. In the end, it's always worth all of that for the little slice of "paradise" wherever and whenever I can get it.

Exercise

2009-03-05T18:12:00.006-06:00

I've become more conscious, over time, of the impact that exercise has on my life. The last few weeks I've been especially cognizant of this within the first minutes of Turbo Kick class. I love the rush I get when the class begins- the movements and music are completely captivating. Turbo Kick is the 21st century answer to aerobics. I spent countless hours in Step Aerobics classes in the 90's and now it seems to have morphed into Turbo Kick. If you've never tried it, it's a combination of aerobics, dance and kick-boxing and lots of rockin' music. The music begins to pump and the room full of 30-40-something women starts throwing punches! I'll have to admit that I didn't like Turbo Kick at first. The movements seemed too jarring and most often irritated an old injury in my shoulder. Over time, though, I began to see the appeal. The workout really keeps moving and changing, and you are transported to a world of endorphins, with
background music by Madonna or Gwen Stefani. I know that for myself, exercise is a key ingredient in keeping me physically & emotionally balanced. Weight, mood and energy levels are all stabilized for me with exercise. It's easy enough for me to fit in two workouts a week and I'm pretty consistent about that. It's the third workout that seems to elude me. I know that I should do it, but somehow work, family life and household chores fill up the space where it should happen. I'll add this to the list of "Goals for '09" and see what I can do............

Stages of Change

2009-02-25T19:31:00.006-06:00

I'm feeling stuck today. I have some changes that I'd like to make, yet can't quite get there. Of course, then, I begin to analyze this. Predictably, a workplace hazard for a psychotherapist. I used to work at a clinic where there were two substance abuse counselors that I interacted with daily. Not having done any coursework or practice in substance abuse treatment, I was intrigued by what theories and interventions they used in their practice. One particular model that they used regularly, was James Prochaska's Stages of Change model. I've outlined the model for you below:

Pre-Contemplation - the individual does not exhibit the specified behavior, and has not considered adopting the behavior.
Contemplation - the individual is considering adopting the behavior, but has not dedicated any effort towards enacting it or preparing to enact it.
Preparation - the individual has started to gather information on the behavior, with a view towards enacting it.
Action - the individual has begun to enact the behaviour regularly, but has not continued doing so over a long period
Maintenance - once a behavior has been regularly enacted for more than six months, the individual is said to have passed into the 'maintenance' stage for that behavior, and has therefore adopted that behavior. This is not, however, a 'final' stage, after which the individual does not have to expend effort to maintain the behavior - a number of factors can propel an individual back into other stages of change.

I now understand, from Wikipedia's current listing of this model, that a sixth stage has been added:

Transformation - At this stage, the change in behavior has become part of the person's normal behavior. Sometimes referred to as the termination stage if the original purpose was to eliminate an undesirable behavior, sometimes referred to as the adoption stage if the original purpose was to begin a new behavior. This is seen as the 'final' stage - although there is much disagreement as to whether an individual ever moves beyond the maintenance stage.

I really like this model, and often use it in therapy, as well in my personal, internal analysis. I'm currently stuck in "Preparation" with an occasional backslide into "Contemplation". I think why I'm stuck is that this is something I "want" to do, not "need" to. There's really no pain in staying where I am. Pain is the great motivator. Most of us are creatures of habit to an extent. It usually takes an enormous amount of pain in order for us to make the effort to change. I'll get back to you in a few weeks and let you know where I am.

Sunshine

2009-02-17T17:21:00.012-06:00

I recently saw one of my daughter's friend's homes listed for sale. I knew that they were considering moving to California, since they have family there. I asked my daughter if she knew the friend was moving, and she said, "Yeah, Maddie said that her mom gets sad in the winter so they are moving somewhere warm". It made me think about how growing up in Wisconsin, I always accepted that I would feel fatigued for much of the winter. I've always been an active cross-country and downhill skier, so it's not that I hate the cold, but I do know that I feel different in the winter than I do in the summer.

When I was in graduate school, I did a research paper on Seasonal Affective Disorder. I think we're often most intrigued with researching things that we've experienced firsthand. I learned through my research about the effect of sunshine, or lack thereof playing a critical role in seasonal depression. The most effective treatment, according to my research at that time was the use of light therapy. Now this isn't just any old light, it's at least 10,000 lux, which is VERY bight. Treatment consists of sitting close to the light (usually within one foot) for thirty minutes a day. The best time for treatment is morning, since this relates to the body's natural circadian rhythms. So, after years of feeling sluggish most of the winter, I tried a light box two years ago. I purchased one through my physician, who's a very holistic minded gal. I sat it on my desk, next to my computer and flipped the switch. Now, you cannot imagine how bright this thing is. You cannot look right into it or I'm sure you'd have a pounding headache within minutes. But, you need to be within one foot of the light. It took a while to get the positioning right, but I found that if I set it perpendicular to my computer monitor, I'd get the light in my eyes (critical for effectiveness) but not be blinded. I'd work on my morning email, etc. for thirty minutes. I don't know if it was the placebo effect, but within a few weeks I felt more energized. I continued this most days until spring finally arrived.

I've also been reading a lot lately about the role of Vitamin D in our bodies. Our bodies manufacture Vitamin D when we are exposed to sunlight. There's also new research about the role that Vitamin D play in the body's ability to absorb calcium. Sometime after this winter trail of Light Therapy I had a check-up with my doctor and she recommended that I increased my level of calcium supplementation and then also take the same level of Vitamin D. I followed this prescription and began taking the supplements daily. All of a sudden one day last winter, it was about February, I believe, I came to the realization that we were right in the middle of winter and I hadn't had the usual energy slump. Why had I not realized that until that moment? I guess I was feeling too good! So, I thought, maybe Vitamin D was the "magic bullet" for me? I didn't need the Light Therapy that year. If you are someone who struggles with winter fatigue, talk to you doctor. There are a lot of options available to help: maybe a light box would work for you, or maybe for your it's vitamin D. Some people with true Seasonal Affective Disorder are helped most by an anti-depressant. Without a doubt there are options available to you, you need not accept that a seasonal energy slump is unavoidable.

For more information, see: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2005/10-things-you-dont-know-about-seasonal-affective-disorder/

Change

2009-02-04T17:19:00.003-06:00

I have been working on cleaning, organizing and purging, all popular activities for the New Year. I think we all begin the new year with expectations for change and growth, hence the "resolutions" that typically happen. When going through some old papers a few days ago, I came across a scrap of paper with a quote I'd written on it. I love meaningful quotes; I'm always collecting them to use with my clients or as personal motivation. I don't remember where I found this one, but it's written as follows, "Change is the right combination of discomfort and hope". Isn't that true? We need to be in a place of pain in order to be motivated to make change, and without some hope for success, or alleviation of pain, why would we even try? Think about the changes you want to make in your life. What's your plan? Who can support you? Even the most complicated changes can be broken down into manageable steps toward success.