Seeking Growth

I was reading a book this weekend about recent parenting theory and research and one of the points the author was making was about the importance of rituals and traditions for childrens' development. I often feel guilty that I don't have many amazing traditions to hand down to my children. I come from a family that can be traced back to the original 13 colonies, so our family tradition is so diluted by this generation, that it feels no more unique than any other American family. In addition, I have friends who are energetic and creative and create fun, wonderful new traditions for their kids. I don't have this going for me either! So what are my traditions, then, I gasped! One of my most cherished memories from childhood is the time that I spent over the years at my family's cottage "up north". Growing up, the expression "Up North" was a phrase that my friends and I used and all knew what it meant---it was the house, cabin, camper, etc. in the North...

I was in the car this week listening to public radio, and heard the second half of an interview with Malina Saval , author of THE SECRET LIVES OF BOYS: Inside the Raw Emotional World of Male Teens. While the author, herself, was not too impressive, and the research a little flimsy, I was intrigued with the subject matter. Granted, most people come to therapy to alleviate some kind of pain. So obviously, the bulk of my interactions with teens come from those who are in some kind of pain. The developmental tasks of adolescence are significant, and the hormonal changes that teens go through make it that much more challenging. Add to that the middle-age transition issues that most teens' parents are attempting to make sense of just as they are working on their own. It's no wonder then, that these years can feel like "stormy seas" for many families. Since hearing this interview I've been thinking about all the current social and cultural issues which have been added ...

As a grand finale to my spring cleaning and purge, I participated in a neighborhood garage sale last weekend. We had a street full of families who participated, so in addition to the lovely weather, it turned out to be quite fun. There was a mother and young son, 4 years old, who came to my garage looking for children's toys. The boy was thrilled to find some toys which my children had outgrown but were new treasures for him which he could take home. As he and his mother were wandering around the garage they were talking. The mother then approached me and said, my son just said to me, " So a Garage Sale is when someone sells stuff they don't want so I can buy it and it's new to me?". She chuckled and said to both me and her son, "Yes, that's it exactly!". The son looked as if he'd just solved one of the mysteries of the universe. This interaction stuck in my mind for the next few days. It made me think of the power of "reframing" in psy...